Caught My Girlfriend Fucking a Cucumber

Hi Jess: 

My name is John, I have been in a 2 year relationship with my girlfriend, and from all aspects, everything has been fine until two weeks ago, I came home from work to see my girlfriend having sex with a cucumber, yes Jess, a cucumber, least to say I was really freaked out.  I haven’t felt so embarrassed in my life and to add insult to injury, before I came into the room, she sound like she was enjoying it more than she enjoys my penis. I just feel inadequate as a man, and I want to ask her the reason behind her having sex with veggies, but I don’t want to makes things even more awkward. 

Response:

John, masturbation with vegetables is something that is not new, there’s many items women use to masturbate  from vegetables to electric toothbrushes and I know this feels awkward for you, but you need to talk with her about the use of  the cucumber. I am going to put some links down below so that you can understand that you shouldn’t feel awkward.  

Links: 

http://mcfartnuggets.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-top-10-vegetables-and-fruits-that.html

http://www.worldoffemale.com/10-house-hold-items-women-can-sex-with/